A Voice Heard, A Feeling Felt, A Warmth

Layers

I had a thing happen to me last night that was wonderfully singular in its existence and I know, for reasons that a Hippie Bear may explain later, that it will never happen again, and I am okay with that. I know that is cryptic and it even may sound laughable to some of you who are on the opposite side of the belief spectrum from myself, and that is okay. I am relaying an experience, my proselytizing days are very much behind me thank you.

We were sitting down watching TV last night, Terry, Elder Duck, and I. American Horror Story actually, which I have seen precisely three episodes of before last night when I watched two of those episodes again to be able to say I watched all the things. Since I had to get up obscenely early, I bailed about eight or so and started to head upstairs. I was on the fourth step when I heard Naomi ask me for her hairbrush from the bathroom downstairs.

Some of you are already putting American Horror Story and dead wife theories together, and that is fine for you to do, I just know it was something very different.

It wasn’t a bad, a scary, dark, evil. It was my wife, my wife who had asked me a thousand times to do that same thing in the years we were married, and even in the years we weren’t. It was nearly a daily occurrence when we moved in here because one of us was always forgetting to bring something upstairs when we went to bed and one of us also generally lagged behind the other for one reason or another.

She asked me for her brush and I stopped for maybe a second before I walked up the stairs, went into my room and closed the door, and sat down on my bed. I had not felt her so strongly since the day she died. I didn’t cry, I didn’t have palpitations, I didn’t anything. I sat there and I let it wash over me like a cooling rain before very calmly taking the rest of the evening in stride.

I am not going to over-analyze this. I am not going to break it down, I am going to accept the gift I was given. I said my thanks to the Beings responsible for such things and I slept with warmth in me last night I have not had in almost four and a half years.

That’s it, that is all I am going to write about it here. I am having conversations with people about, but the world doesn’t need to know every word and deed of my heart and mind.

RAWRZ